10. Black (PS 2)
Black is probably one of the Playstation 2's cult classics. Which is a shame, because it so deserves to be more well known.
It's an FPS that feels a lot like single player Counter Strike, except it doesn't suck and the terrorists don't call you a [REDACTED] and kick you from the server.
You play as black ops agent Keller who is on a mission to take out the world's most powerful terrorist. Obviously, as this is a black operation, the public cannot know about any of it.
Unfortunately, this probably won't be the case. The reason being that every object in the game, from tables and chairs, to door frames and tankers can be destroyed. Not only that, you are encouraged to rain destruction down on those no good Russian fucks.
The detail in the weapons is just unbelievable. Down to the last divot, every weapon is a work of art. The reload animations are eye candy. Of course, you'll rarely reload as every weapon has insane ammo capacity, such as the 90-round AK47 or the 328-round revolver. Of course, this makes sense as every enemy in the game is at least as heavily armoured as you are, and unless you shoot them in the head you'll be pumping them with enough lead to poison a submarine.
You play as Black Operative Sergeant Keller. You are a hardass. Semper fi mother fucker. Actually, you are under internal investigation due to allegations of mutiny. Keller tells his story, and you play through the levels in between story time. Kinda like Monkey Island 2, but more badass.
The graphics are just unbelievable, and it's made by the same team that made the Medal of Honour games, so you know it's an easily playable FPS. The only problem with the game is due to the level of difficulty, there's little immediate replay value, but it's a game that will sit in your library for months before you pull it back out and play through it from beginning to end, wondering how you forgot about it.
Like your sad, shrivelled little penis.
9: Max Payne 2 (PC)
"I lied to myself that it was over. I was still alive, my loved ones were still dead. It wasn't over."
Max Payne 2, the sequel to the relatively unknown Third-Person shooter Max Payne. The first game was far more innovative than people actually know. Among others, it was the pioneer of bullet-time in games. The whole experience, from the solid gameplay, to the graphic novel cinematics, and the constant self-referential humour that only a Rockstar game could pull off successfully was unbelievable. Max Payne was a non-stop kill fest: No puzzles, no down time, no REAL boss fights, just wave after wave of cannon fodder.
And when news of a sequel came around, gamers like myself went into conniptions. A sequel? The first had ended properly, Max had gained revenge against the people who had killed his wife and daughter, ended a major drug ring, and was relieved of all convictions laid on him. How could they further the story?
Well, not only did they find a way to, they arguably made a better game than the first. The core gameplay remains the same, and a lot of douchebags say that it's the same old thing over and over. Well, be that as it may, who can honestly get tired of running through a condemned building, diving around corners and shooting guys in the face with dual Desert Eagles? Assholes, that's who. Fucking assholes. GODDAMNED FUCKING ASSHOLES!
The game feels much more polished than its predecessor. Max has been given a new face, one that isn't Sam Lake's (The writer for the games) constipated grimace. Max Payne's voice actor remained the same however, and all recurring characters were given total makeovers as well, including new voices.
The bullet-time itself has been given a little upgrade as well. Now slo-mo diving doesn't consume bullet-time during the duration of the dive, which is ridiculously long. Your slo-mo meter also replenishes itself over time, so you're not desperately holding back bullet-time until you can find a room with enough enemies to bring it back up.
Overall, it's a very cinematic game. The storyline, the music, the overall feel of it. Like it advertises, it feels like a film noir movie.
Max Payne himself is a great character. From his cold, shallow voice to his tendency to use overelaborate metaphorical analogies, Max is a solid and original protagonist.
The best way to really describe this game is it feels like an interactive John Woo film. Truly epic, as you would expect out of 3D Realms.
8: Devil May Cry 3 (PS 2)
Devil May Cry 3. What can I say about it that most people don't already know? Nothing. Okay, moving on.
7: Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (PS 2)
Although I'm a fan of the entire series, INCLUDING WARRIOR WITHIN, none of them had as big an impact on me as Sands of Time. As I said, I'm a platformer at heart, and before this game came out there hadn't been a game that held the true platforming experience since the early N64 days. Not only that, but it's probably the only true 3D platformer, besides maybe Sonic 3D blast (Which wasn't really 3D anyway). Come to think of it, I should have put Sonic 3D blast on this list...
Anyway, Sands of Time offered something to traditional gamers like me: A true old style game experience on a next-gen console. The game was, needless to say, a huge success. Not only with older gamers, but newer and casual gamers as well.
The Prince, a young, nameless Persian warrior in seek of honour and glory is misled by an evil vizier, and unleashes the ravaging sands of time upon his kingdom. In order to undo everything, he has to run up and down walls, babysit a stupid Indian girl, and use a special dagger to rewind time when he falls on spikes.
I know that's not exactly the story, but who the fuck cares? I'm too busy vaulting over hideous beasts and launching myself over enormous chasms to give a fuck.
The pre-rendered cinematic sequences are quite stunning, and the in-game models aren't too bad looking themselves. This game just did so much right with a genre long since forgotten by developers.
Truthfully, I actually liked the storyline. It was well developed and carried out, and didn't feel like it was just in the way. And the Prince's tendency to talk to himself constantly really makes you like him as a person.
I could go on, but I don't want to.
6: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)
Some of you who are loyal Socks Make People Sexy viewers, upwards of 7 trillion of you, may remember that I listed this as my number one least favourite game in my bottom 10. But what you may NOT know is that you're a prissy little momma's boy.
Well, I guess I'd better explain this one a little further.
First off, much of what I said still stands. I love Grand Theft Auto III to death, and it had more of an impact than San Andreas could have ever had on me. In fact, there's another game that should have been on this list, but I decided I should right my previous wrong with San Andreas.
Like I said, much of what I said I still believe in: the same basic concept, only slightly tweaked gameplay, and basically the same formula. But you know what? The formula works, so fuck you. It's like Coke, with all the peripheral noise surrounding it, Lime Coke and New Coke and the like, people keep coming back to Coke. So why change it?
Also, I've grown to be quite fond of the main character, CJ. He's a bright kid brought up in the ghetto with past demons that followed him all the way to Liberty City. One day, he gets a call from his brother, informing him his mother is dead.
The first thing you'll notice about San Andreas is just how beautiful the game is. Now, just playing it right off the bat, it's difficult to tell just how much the game has advanced since III, but playing them right after the another they don't even look remotely similar.
The story is expansive, ridiculous, and solid. Just as with the other two GTA games. The world is also fucking huge. You're not just in a city with three subsections, no. You're in an entire goddamned state with three main cities and six or so sub-districts. However, travelling isn't as arduous as you may be thinking with the addition of planes and helicopters, as well as an interstate subway line (Which I have yet to actually use, because driving around is just too fun.)
The engine has been giving small tweaks here and there and it's really been tightened and polished. The biggest change is a rotating camera, even when you're driving. Let me tell you, playing San Andreas and then going back to Vice City or III is actually quite difficult without the camera.
As expected, there are literally hundreds of collectibles strewn across the enormous world in front of you. There is also way more dialogue in this game. CJ can have mini conversations with people by responding positively or negatively to comments that pedestrians throw at you. CJ also just speaks a whole lot more himself, and is actually quite witty. Well, sometimes at least: "Man, you ever hear of a bath!" "YEAH?! Well I hope you die alone!" Good one, CJ. That sure taught her.
If Vice City was a step up from what III was, San Andreas is three or four steps up from Vice City. And I can honestly say that I'm excited for GTA IV. Can you say the same?
