Pat's Top 25 30 Games of All Time
by Pitchfork

30-26 | 25-21 | 20-16 | 15-11 | 10-6 | 5-1 |


10.) Half-Life 2 (XBOX, 2005)

Yes, alright, FINE. The first Half-Life is probably the better game. It's longer, feels more epic, has more weapons, more (and smarter) enemies, is more challenging, and has all that cool multiplayer stuff I never got to try out. But I still prefer Half-Life 2 for some reason. Maybe it's because Half-Life had a whole bunch of parts that were -- well, really kind of annoying. Xen comes to mind. So do the underwater parts. And pretty much that whole "On A Rail" chapter. I can start Half-Life 2 up, pick a random chapter or save file, and have a blast no matter what part of the game I drop in at.

I think I just really like the Combine. Can't get enough of those guys. Scariest antagonists I've ever seen in a video game -- well, I use "seen" loosely, since you never actually get to SEE them. That's partially why they're so menacing. You see the effects their dominion is having upon the earth and its inhabitants. You see all of their technology. You see all the humans they've co-opted. But you never get to meet the guys pulling the strings -- one of them appear twice on Dr. Breen's monitor for a few seconds, but that's it. And don't even get me started on how creepy those synths are. One of the first times I watched Slam play through the PC version was when he was at that part towards the end of Highway 17 where you have to climb across those cantilevers (that part when the bridge starts shaking STILL gives me goosebumps) and eventually fight a Gunship. I thought he was just fighting off some helicopter -- but then the thing started SHRIEKING when he hit it with a rocket. Freaky.

Also fun: running over Combine soldiers with a hovercraft. Running over Combine soldiers with a dune bugger. Pinning Combine soldiers to walls with the crossbow. Using MP-7 grenades on pretty much anything. Using the Gravity Gun to kill Combine soliders with marble busts. Flinging those annoying Rollermines as high and far as you can over a cliff, and waiting to listen for the "BOOM." Shouting "ONE FREE MAN, BITCH!" at the top of your lungs while smacking the Hunter Chopper with the crowbar for up to fifteen minutes after you've already downed it. The list goes on. I love Half-Life 2.


9.) Vampire Savior (Arcade, 1997)

I see no reason why I should ever have to write another word about Darkstalkers for as long as I live.


8.) Final Fantasy VII (PSX, 1997)

This game is still really good.


7.) Legend of Zelda (NES, 1987)

Ye gods...what time is it now? How long have I been doing this? How many of these have I got left...? My head's starting to hurt.

Right then. Legend of Zelda. I'll argue with anyone that it's the best game bearing the series name, although I'll admit I've never played Ocarina of Time.

I can see you gasping and pointing fingers and shouting OH MY GOD NEVER PLAYED OCARINA DUDE WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?! I'll just wait until you've calmed down. It's okay...I'm used to it by now.

Let's talk about Legend of Zelda and simulacra. HIT ME, WIKIPEDIA!

Modern French social theorist Jean Baudrillard argues that a simulacrum is not a copy of the real, but becomes truth in its own right: the hyperreal. Where Plato saw two steps of reproduction - faithful and intentionally distorted (simulacrum) - Baudrillard sees four: (1) basic reflection of reality, (2) perversion of reality; (3) pretense of reality (where there is no model); and (4) simulacrum, which bears no relation to any reality whatever."

The Legend of Zelda is, of course, Miyamoto's brainchild. Saying a lot of love got put into the game is a tremendous understatement. Miyamoto's aim with Legend of Zelda -- and the subsequent entries in the series which he's had a hand in -- was to recreate the sense of adventure and wonder he felt as a young boy exploring the mountains and forests surrounding Kyoto. This is why Legend of Zelda is such a fantastic game: the whole purpose of Legend of Zelda was to recreate experiences and feelings which were very real.

This is why a whole lot of Zelda clones and adventure games just seem so lacking in comparison. Legend of Zelda is an imitation of the real. An adventure game that borrows heavily from Legend of Zelda (and there's no lack of them) is an imitation of an imitation. Could THAT be why the Legend of Zelda series (especially the first installment) always seems leaps and bounds above all the other adventure games out there??

Or it's entirely possible I have no idea what I'm talking about. Whatever. TAKE ANY ROAD YOU WANT.


6.) Street Fighter II: Hyper Fighting (Arcade, 1992)

There is no way of describing how cool this game was when I was in third grade. I think the only possible way to recreate my original experience would be to stir together a dangerous cocktail of ketamine, MDMA, and LSD. The ketamine would temporarily erase all previous familiarity with Street Fighter and probably 2D fighters in general. The ectasy and the acid would contribute to recreating that sense of awe and wonder which only young children are capable of feeling (before everything becomes familiar and boring) and enhancing the graphics and sounds to such heights of vivid intensity that it would be impossible to tell how dated they are. All I need now is a way of reconstructing that smoke-filled billiards hall where I learned to play and I'll be set.






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