Mega Man, Mega Man, Mega Man. The little blue bugger's almost ready to hit his silver anniversary. I haven't touched the Robot Master Rundown in quite a while, but technically it was not quite done. Yeah, I ran through all the main bosses of the main 10 classic Mega Man games, that is true. But I forgot the spinoffs and stuff. There's still like two games' worth of original bosses in those, so let's get to it.
THE MEGA MAN KILLERS
I am delving into an untold level of nerdy here, but let's elaborate on who the Mega Man Killers are. In addition to the NES Mega Man games, Capcom was also publishing Game Boy versions of them. They typically came out after an NES game, and sort of mixed Robot Masters. The first game had four from Mega Man, and then four from Mega Man 2. The mixing and matching continued until Mega Man 4 on Game Boy. Anywho, each game had a completely original boss in its Wily Fortress, and nearly all of them were designated "Mega Man Killers". Running through them all, we have:
ENKER
I always liked Enker, he looks pretty neat. That gold armor, those spikes, that weird spear.. thing... he's got a great visual look to him and he doesn't look like a complete joke. Fighting him, though... well, it is kind of silly because of his weapon. The Mirror Buster is a "counter" weapon; it reflects blasts back at their blaster. Enker for some reason still takes damage, so all you do is shoot him and then jump over the countershot. Easy fight, cool looking guy. He would later appear in Mega Man Soccer as one of the best players, and then in Mega Man 10 as the secret boss of Special Stage 1 (and he gives you his weapon upon defeat, yay!)
QUINT
Ugh. Quint is technically not a Mega Man Killer, but people mistake him as such because he's an original boss in a Game Boy Mega Man. Quint is actually a future version of Mega Man that Dr. Wily stole from the future with a time machine, reprogrammed, and gave a pogo stick/jackhammer called Sakugarne. I MADE NONE OF THAT UP. He looks like the Mega Man from Captain N, and he's just as silly. Just.. ugh. Ugh forever. You get his Sakugarne for beating him, and somehow manage to not collapse all of time and space.
PUNK
Holy shit this guy looks hardcore. Spikes everywhere and a god damned BUZZSAW MOHAWK HOLY FUCK. His weapon is the Screw Crusher, which is a sawblade that shoots up in an arc. Punk can also pull a Metal Sonic and turn into a spiky ball of DEATH. I like Punk, he is pretty badass. He would go on to be featured in Mega Man 10 as the boss of Special Stage 2, and he's also the only Mega Man Killer to have a Battle Network counterpart. Let's take a look... did they ruin him?
JESUS CHRIST I DIDN'T THINK HE COULD BE MADE BETTER BUT THERE YOU GO.
BALLADE
Ballade is a very Quick Man-looking fellow, and the last of the Mega Man Killers. He's also supposed to be the strongest or something? He's got two forms, which is a rarity for a robot in the Mega Man games. What does this guy think he is, a Wily machine? His weapon is Ballade Cracker, which is like a strange fusion of the Metal Blade and the Crash Bomb; an aimable bomb. Ballade, too, was featured in Mega Man 10 as the boss of Special Stage 3. He gets a pass.
THE GENESIS UNIT
A little game rundown first. Mega Man: The Wily Wars was a Mario All-Stars like enhanced remake of the first three Mega Man games for the Sega Genesis. It was only available here on the Sega Channel service, but Europe got an actual cart of it. Lucky buggers. The remakes were alright, but had a few issues (none as bad as say, Ninja Gaiden Trilogy). The real treat came after you beat all three games, and unlocked a new segment; Wily Tower. Here, you were free to mix and match weapons and items from all three games, and venture through new stages, as well as fight three new Robot Masters, all based on Journey To The West (you know, that thing they eventually made Dragon Ball out of). Going through, we've got:
BUSTER ROD. G
The G stands for "Goku". OH BOY HE'S A MONKEY. Monkey man here doesn't give you any weapon, but he does have an extend-o-stick. He spins that thing around, too, to block shots. What's really fun is that this guy is fought twice in the Wily Tower segment; when you fight him in the fortress itself, you fight as you move across falling platforms. It's pretty neat, and this guy is alright.
MEGA WATER. S
Mega Water. S is a robot kappa. You know, that one Japanese demon. Whoa, wait, that makes him a precursor to Tengu Man. Pretty neat! A neat bit of fun is that, in the background of his stage, you can see what looks to be Green Hill Zone in the distance. 'CAUSE IT'S THE GENESIS, GET IT? Mega Water S. has a water shield and shoots at you from underwater. Nothing all that special.
HYPER STORM. H
Whoa this fellow is a big old hefty hog. He's got a lot of interesting things about him. You fight him in a spiky arena, but the spikes aren't insta-death. They just hurt. More importantly, this guy has TWO ENERGY BARS. Inti Creates would later run with this concept for the Zero and ZX series, creating bosses with three, four, HELL EVEN FIVE ENERGY BARS. Ol' Hyper Storm gets points for innovation, I guess.
THE STARDROIDS
As I mentioned before, the first four Mega Man games on Game Boy just straight-up used old NES bosses, with an original fellow near the end. With Mega Man V on the Game Boy, however, Capcom actually made a new set of guys, called the Stardroids. These guys are a bunch of space-themed robot masters and some of them look a lot like other robot masters. Starting from the first "loop", we've got..
MERCURY
Mercury looks a lot like Gemini Man (who already WAS a space-themed robot master, come to think of it.. hm.) and is kind of like a little humanoid Yellow Devil, in that he can split himself apart into blobs. His weapon, the Grab Buster, steals energy from enemies and lets the user take it as their own... wait, that's what Magic Card does! Magic Card was a ripoff? God damn.
VENUS
HI THERE NOT-TOAD MAN! How are you today? Good, that's good.. hope you don't mind the analysis. Not-Toad Man here has the Bubble Bomb, which... wait a god damned minute this sounds a lot like Danger Wrap, that was a bubble in a bomb! Did every Mega Man past 6 just take things blatantly from this one? Capcom, I'm shaking my head.
MARS
Oh ho ho, now we're talking. Look at this guy, he is a walking tank. We haven't had one of those yet, have we? We've had weaponized robot masters though, so he's following a trend. His weapon is the Photon Missile, which kind of is like if Hard Knuckle were a missile. Seriously it stays in place and everything. Ah well, that's taking from the past.
NEPTUNE
Fishman fishman hey look it's a fishman! I like your look there, Mr. Neptune. Your weapon... not so much. It's... Salt Water. Nothing fancy, just a big blob of water that splits. Kind of like Crystal Eye but not enough to be a ripoff. So, cool look, meh weapon. Alright, what's the next set got?
JUPITER
caw caw motherfuckers
Jupiter is a bird-looking man, a BIRD MAN if you will. Would you ever guess that this fellow has an electric weapon? I doubt you would. It's Electric Shock, which is a very Elec Beam looking thing that only shoots in front of Mega Man like a flamethrower. Quite strange, but okay.
SATURN
Is Ring Man in this year? Saturn thankfully does not rip off Ring Man.. it makes sense that he'd have a big ring because Saturn. His weapon is Black Hole.. oh come ON, I really love Galaxy Man, don't ruin him for me! THIS Black Hole sucks things in, and then blows up into projectiles. It's not as good as Galaxy Man's though.
URANUS
Don't let the bull appearance fool you. This guy is out and out a Guts Man clone. He jumps around and makes earthquakes (and can instakill you with falling rocks if you're not careful!), he throws rocks at you... his weapon, the Deep Digger, lifts up rocks for you to throw them... IT'S GUTS MAN!
PLUTO
...ugh. It's Slash Man but really really... fabulous. And a cat. This is utterly ridiculous, but it's like a reverse Neptune. His weapon is kind of neat, it's called Break Dash and you charge it up and Mega Man ZIPS across the screen and can break special barriers. I like it, but I don't like Pluto.
TERRA
Terra is the leader of the Stardroids and as a part Esper she-- wait, no. Terra is the leader of the Stardroids and he actually BEATS Mega Man in the opening cutscene. How about that? He's a pushover to fight in-game, though. A shame. His weapon is Spark Chaser, which is a laser that homes in on enemies. It's a rather good one, and Terra's a good antagonist.
SUNSTAR
Okay so this guy isn't technically a Stardroid, but fuck it he gets a rundown anyway for breaking a trend. Sunstar is the final boss of Mega Man V. As in, NOT DR. WILY. What a big surprise, hey? He and Mega Man have a very neat final boss fight involving layers and different attacks and stuff, and Sunstar just looks cool as hell. That's all for him.
Alright, so until Mega Man 11 comes out I guess that's all for Robot Master Rundown. Unless I decide to talk about Mavericks...
