Well, it's year four. perhaps the hottest, most extreme year of the 16-bit wars. The years when both consoles were scarred, weary, about to fall over yet not giving any ground. Sega's blast processing campaign failed utterly, and was derided as utter propaganda. Nintendo in getting it's controller shoved up the wrong port, sideways, with that whole Mortal Kombat II debacle started to let a little blood and gore flow into their games. Both systems were neck and neck, and anything could lead to the other gaining an advantage as 16-bit gaming entered it's twilight era and the focal point shifted onto the new generation... but 16-bit was far from dead yet, as the SNES's all star line up will show you.
all right, lets dive right in. Now, I've already stated multiple times that while 99% of licensed games these days are utter crap, back in the 16-bit era good licensed games were actually something of a norm. Leading off the representation of the cream of the SNES's fourth year of licensed products are the Adventures of Batman and Robin. Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the show, to me this was one of the most awesome animated series ever. Prior to the Batman animated series no animated series had ever been nominated or even dreamed of winning an emmy. This show changed all that. Stylized animation (drawn on black print to depict a darker and grim feel) excellent voice talent, mature story lines (has Mr Freeze EVER been cooler than he has in this show?) and sharp writing (to this day, the line "I threw a rock at em" is something of an in-joke between my longtime friends and I) helped distinguish this show from the rest of the superhero nonsense. The game itself was a well designed platformer meant to reference and play through various episodes in the series. Graphically and audibly it was outstanding as it tried to come as close as possible to emulating the look and feel of the show. Game play was varied and making levels flow as per the scripts of the episodes they were taken from was a great idea. It has a few flaws such as in Poison Ivy's level Batman doesn't punch Poison Ivy or her female gang just tosses batarangs at them, but otherwise it was an awesome game and miles ahead of the Genesis offering, which is sad since the Genny even went with that whole digicel thing for it's batman
game, thats where programmers take actual animation cels and work them into the graphics. Shame the designers made the gameplay so utterly awful.
Okay, moving on, we got Indiana Jones's Greatest Adventures, made by the same people who brought you super star wars. It's an entertaining offering that gives you varied level (running from that infamous boulder from Raiders and fighting in Last Crusades Biplane in mode 7). It was a well presented, amusing good time for fans of the films, and an above average side scroller for the rest of gaming kind. Oh, and speaking of Super Star Wars; Super Return of the Jedi hit gaming systems that year with a toned down challenge. In my opinion, that makes it somewhat the weakest game, despite slave Leia being playable with her main weapon being her chain used as a whip (rrrwooorr, thats hot). Otherwise it's the same great graphics, game play, sound and cinemas you've come to expect.
The quality licensed games still kept coming. Mickey Mouse got represented two times that year. The First was The Magical Quest: Starring Mickey Mouse which was a platformer that gave mickey a bit of a super Mario thing by giving him different outfits (and thus different power ups to use). The other big title that year to celebrate the micks fiftieth birthday, was the all around sound platformer Mickey Mania, which was noteworthy for having digicel animation taken straight from the various MM designs over the years. It was a fun game at the time, these days I think it would get knocked, as would most of the good platformers back then, for being way too kiddy.
We still aren't done with the licensed titles. Jurassic Park returned for a second round of quality gaming with Jurassic Park 2: The Chaos Continues. Unlike the Genesis's Rampage Edition, which was little more than a acceptable expansion to it's first awesome title, JP2 gave a typical story of a corporation that wants to take over Jurassic park and make billions selling dino DNA, and to do it they send in a Red guy and a Blue guy to kill all the rampaging
dinos and recover any and all DNA samples. It was silly stuff, but it was a helluva lot of fun. Not
as fun as playing as the raptor mind you, but still good times.
And finally, X-Men Mutant Apocalypse came out for the SNES. It was a typical platformer that had some outstanding graphics, Sound, and had a few Street Fighter style combo's to pull off during game sessions. It was put out during Capcoms golden era, and likely was a bit of a warm up for the X-men series of fighting games. And while I love the Genesis offerings (Nightcrawler in X-men: Clone Wars is actually the most damaging character once you get used to him) I find Mutant Apocalypse is the most fun X-men game ever thanks to well thought out levels, cool boss battles, and a well designed control scheme that makes each X-men a unique character to control.
Well I'm done with the licensed stuff, but now before we go on I need to hash out some sour grapes and get this out of my system. The third Street Fighter II game for the snes, subtitled "The New Challengers" hit and was once again a big success. If capcom even needed to advertise this game the honest route would have been to go with an ad that went along the lines of "Hey kids, you know that version of Street Fighter II: Championship edition you've been playing the fuck out of for the past year, well toss that crap in the garbage and go annoy Mom and Dad into buying you the NEW Street Fighter II title. New moves = new combos and the addition of four new characters means your too stupid to figure out you've been playing the same damn game for years and paying full price for minor expansions. And just for the sake of novelty, we threw in four new half baked characters. There's a new chick and while the design team forgot to make her hot you probably won't care since you've been pulling off Chun Li's Spin Kick for years just for a little panty action you perv. There's a Jamaican dude cuz our demographics team said we needed a black guy thats more American and relateable to todays youth. There's also a Bruce Lee clone, just in time to cash in on the beyond fucking exaggerated pseudo biopic film "Dragon." And then there's T-hawk. He's there to fill a quota. So kids, go get your parents wallet (we all know they'd have said yes anyway) and grab a good $80.00 and go to your local game store and pick up Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers today. Because your life just isn't complete without a yearly and lazy expansion.
Maybe I'm coming off as a bit critical... but capcom has got it coming. SFII was a grand surprise, SFII: CE was a welcome follow up... this was where the series became dangerously close to jumping the shark. It's one thing to do this crap in a arcade, where you're still paying a quarter per piece of the action, but in a home console follow up to a title that was already a follow up, well I just can't let that one go. Dropping eighty bones on a game we've been playing for two years now that really didn't do anything that different or noteworthy is just flat out a stupid move, but of course the SFII faithful did it. Personally though, I think it would have been more respectful of the SFII fans to just hold off on the console version of CE and bring this out two years later. Hey, it was still Street Fighter, and the most awesome Fighting game on consoles before titles like Soul Caliber, Tekken, and Virtua Fighter showed up. And at the time, that was not a bad thing at all.
And the games did not stop, you want shooters? Hows about R-Type III huh? Yah, there's your shooting action. RPGs? Breath of Fire and a little known quality title called Illusion of Gaia both hit that year. Action/Platformers? Rocky & Pocky II is a terrific title that I'm sad to say I've played very little of, but enjoyed it quite a bit for the short time I've been able to afford to the title. Earthworm Jim began what seemed to be a meteoric rise to fame with his first game, and I think I've said all I really had to say back on that top ten worst games list. This franchise deserved so much better, and it's a damn shame to go back and play EJ and lament how one terrible game can go all patriot missile on a brilliantly shooting star. That said, Vortex hit and was a pseudo follow up to Starfox, powered by more megs, the SFX trip, and you piloting a transforming Mecha. And Nintendo proved that it has the concept of compilation titles down, with the release of Tetris & Dr Mario on a single cart. Like Super Mario All Stars it had updated graphics, and traditional game play. Ya gotta love them for that.
Oh, I'm not done by a long shot. Blackthrone came out and was a surprise hit from Blizzard. It took the prince of persia game play model, took a fantasy esque setting and put you in charge of a disposed prince fighting demonic monsters that killed your family, enslaved your world, and stole your throne. After 10 years of marine training, you're magically beamed back home and are ready to kick ass. A couple things set this apart from the pack. You can dodge enemy fire by pushing up and hiding in the background, which was very unique. You got an interesting arsenal of weapons to use which was fun, and then there was the nigh legendary no look behind the back shot. Which really was put in there just to look cool as it's damn near useless on most boss fights since it takes time to pull off. Oh yah, and in the first few levels where your walking through the mines and meeting your imprisoned people, you can shoot them. Yep, it's a guilty pleasure but still amusing to take a bomb from a chained ally and do the behind the back shot while leaving the room as a parting insult. Blackthrone is a unique and all around fun game that you should definitely give it a try.
Okay, now lets talk 8-bit for a minute. There was something of a sleeper hit series on the NES and Game Boy called Gargoyles Quest. It was an action/RPG series that while not being well known, still had a niche audience and was most famous for starring that Gargoyle from Ghouls & Ghosts that would mess you up on the first level. Well, Firebrand returned for a third outing on the SNES which was really cool. From a humble yet cool start on the color blind system that could, to a grand yet ignored follow up during the NES's twilight, to a excellent release on the SNES in the form of Demons Crest, firebrand was slowly rising to fame and fortune. And damn if the game itself wasn't awesome. It was a bit of Mega Man X as Firebrand kept getting new abilities from the bosses, but still had that Gargoyles Quest feel. And despite a dark, Gholish, and awesome good time... he's not been seen since. Swallowed up by the dark flames of time and consequence. Maybe it's for the best that the red one stay forgotten rather than get massacred by a poorly thought out 3D update catering on nostalgic feelings rather than presenting the quality game play the series was noted for.
And before I get to the meat of this article, I want to mention a special, yet little known title that released this year. Super Bonk. Y'see, Bonk was the face man for the failed Turbographics CD system. It was something of a 12-bit system (technically 8-bt specs, but with a few bells and whistles thrown in to up the presentation. Much like how the Nintendo DS is technically less powerful than the SNES and Genesis, yet manages to pull off better FX) that thought itself to be the Genesis's main competition in the days before the SNES hit the market 1 1/2 years after the Genesis. Bonks games were probably the most enjoyable ones for the failed Turboduo, and IMO, was a far better game than Super Mario World. Bonk later did some touring on the Game Boy once the TG got deep sixed by the genny, and somehow managed to get the SNES to let him show up. The result is one of the most varied and amusing platformers ever conceived.
The Secret to Super Bonk is just pure, nonstop fun and borderline insanity. Eat the wrong kind of meat and bonk will turn into a flaming, halitosis powered dinosaur with no pupils and invincibility. Another kind of meat will turn him into an unstoppable giant that laughs at his puny foes (what? You thought that shit going dowin in New Super Mario was actually original? Shut up and go play a really brilliant game). Yet another meat will shrink him to a bit sized bonk that still has a mean headbutt and can travel in the smallest crevice. Damn I wish I had that power. I'd use on this faithfully attached chick at work that wears this wickedly tight and low cut tank top sometimes on casual day and it displays and spectacularly accentuates the fact she dislikes bras. I'd use that power specifically when she leans over her desk and secretly crawl between her really incredible... ... ... WHAT?! Sorry kids, Polly told me I had to keep this at least NC-17 or below and just wanted to cut me off before things went too far. Fucking censors). Bonus levels include making an enemy drinking out of a fountain hose explode by jumping on a pump, playing basketball with flowers and tossing them into a net being carried by a runaway dinosaur as well as other zaniness. Levels are varied and constantly changing, from platforming to 3D stages like navigating a fountain of milk inside a drinking straw.
Basically, Bonk is kind of like Ash from the Evil Dead movies. He won't get invited to the elite awards shows, but he has a huge following that stick their noses up at the the elite idiots who don't know whats really cool. Bonk in the TG was cool. Bonk on the go on the Gameboy was cool. And Super Bonk is Super cool. Play this damn game now you Mario snobs and ponder the meaning of your fandom.
Oh yah, Mortal Kombat II was released. Yay. Look, we both know that story has been told to death, so lets just say it was a huge event and move on okay? Good.
And now for the main event.
There were some games that really need no introduction these days, but should get an intro if we are looking back. You see, THIS was the last year that the Genny really put up a fight. Maybe if Sega hadn't expended all of it's finances in pointless smear campaigns, funny yet juvenile advertisements, pointless add ons like the 32-X and Sega CD and a pathetically redundant handheld, Sega could have funded more awesome games after this year. But nope, after 00:00:01 on 01/01/95, the energy that allowed Sega to remain competitive just seemed to vanish. Sure it would still release some great games, but they were as few and far between as the must have titles on the N64 and Gamecube. And looking back, I think it was five games in the year of our lord 1994 that pulled a Dynasty Warriors style beatdown on the masses of Sega's titles. Four games that while awesome on their own, being released in the same year they seemed to form a proverbial Voltron or Megazord that no mere mortal game, no matter how powerful, could defeat. These were the big five of Nintendo's 1994 lineup. The Legendary quintet that appeared with a bolt of lightning Olympian calibre lightning and proceeded to walk into the battlefield in slow motion whilst slaying dozens with a single swing as the world itself explodes behind them just a little more with every step. Here are the Legends of Nintendos 1994 lineup that we all know and recognize.
Donkey Kong Country
"Irish, are you fucking kidding me? The Game is alright but not a legend." Sure, I'll grant you that while fun, Donkey Kong Country is no great shakes as a stand alone platformer. But at the time, with Sega pushing forward towards the Saturn and Sony bailing on their partnership to develop what would become the Playstation, this game rocked worlds. 3D and CGI generated polygons was the future, we were all waiting for it. Toy Story itself is a legend not because it's a great move (fun, yes I'll grant you but seriously overhyped) but because it was the worlds first fully CGI animated film and back then, the animation rocked peoples worlds in much the same way the first Jurassic Park movie did. Donkey Kong Country became a legend for being the first game that featured pre-rendered graphics and CGI developed characters. The game was a fucking graphical powerhouse at the time. Cranky Kong, with his rants on the new-fangled graphics was basically Rare and nintendo patting themselves on the back. People bought this game by the truckload and gasped in awe pondering how Nintendo pulled this shit off. Sure, okay Sega had Vectorman, but that only had the same effects on the main character and bosses. DKC had it everywhere. Graphically this was the FFVII of its day, and utterly redefined the idea of what gamers expect from elite presentation values. As a game, it's fun and amusing and way too much on the easy side and borrowed too much from the hop'n'bop vernacular that made mario a star. It's really just a tech demo, but at the time people just ate it up.
Mega Man X
It's 1994, and we are sad to say that Mega Man has jumped the shark.
Look, you and I both know it's true. I love the blue bomber, but the writing was on the wall back when Capcom was doing contests for boss designs in japan as a way of circumventing the fact that they were starting to run out of ideas. And the games still kept going. Sure, they were fun and all, but too much of a good thing is just too much. I can't even remember how many times I've had to tell a friend or coworker or fellow student that the joke they've been telling all week has stopped being funny due to redundancy. Sure, I did a double take at Dead or Alive on the PSX, what with the water bed chests and all, but by the time Bikini Beach Volleyball hit I was pretty much going "meh, same ol same ol." Sure, that incredibly smoking hot chick you picked up at the club rocks your socks the first time you see her aux naturelle, but after a month the novelty is done, she's annoying drunk, and WTF is up with her laugh? Fran Drescher is Sarah Brightman compared to the demonic noises that this woman makes at your jokes.
Get the point? We're over the honeymoon phase Capcom, give us something different or just accept you've gone and flogged this horse to death already.
Than Capcom gave us Mega Man X.
Rejuvenated. Resurrected. These words are far too tame for what this game did for Capcoms flagship series. It's like coming home from a hellish day at work expecting meatloaf prepared by Mrs Cleaver and finding your Hollywood dream girl (for me? Monica Belluci who played Persephone from the Matrix films) cooking your favorite dish in nothing but a see through apron served with french wine. Your not entirely sure how this happened, you're almost positive you're in a dream, but you don't care and you just run with it. Megaman X was an awesome game in every way, perhaps it's when you are in that airport level, fire a buster shot and every window in the place explodes. Or in the intro where Zero saves your hash. Or at the end when Zero is dead and you and Vile hash it out, or even the first time you stumbled across that capsule of Dr Light in a Ryu outfit teaching you to do a Hadouken. Capcom made this game utterly awesome, and us fans were once again madly, head over feet in love with the blue bomber one more time.
Super Punch Out
Being a victim of MS syndrome (thats Master System owner) I never got a chance to really play Mike Tysons Punch-Out on the ol NES. I got up to fucking up King Hippo on my cousins NES. So Super Punch-Out was the really my first in depth taste of the franchise, and it was awesome. It kept most of the simplicity of what I remembered from the NES game, but added a bit of variety with the improved Super Meter. Everything else was a mix of strategic planning that evolved over the game time. The first two Leagues were just tests to see how quickly you could knock these fuckers out. The third was there to start to get you to think and evaluate your opponents patterns, experiment and find weaknesses. And the final league was the ultimate challenge in reflexes and gaming skill. The gameplay was great, but the graphics really added a goofy and fun air to the game, as each contender was filled with silly animations, facial expressions, and way out there attacks. Sound added to the feel, and didn't get in the way. I think of Super Punch-Out as one of the greatest sports games ever, and wish more developers would try to infuse their sports titles with the simplicity and wacky charm that Super Punch-Out managed as it's absolutely
timeless and a wonderful title.
Super Metroid
Being there at the time, all I could think when this game hit was that Sega had better have some awesome shit ready to counter this game... then the months passed and I realized that Sega had little to nothing left on the 16-bit front. Maybe thats a bit of a tame recollection for a title that still tops many greatest games of all time list, but everyone else on the planet has alrady said it all about this game.
All there is left to say about this game is why the effing hell hasn't Nintendo re-released this one? Howsabout a Metroid All-Stars nintendo? All 2D metroid games, one nintendo DS cart, worldwide fangasms. Lets make this miricle happen.
Final Fantasy III
When this game hit, it was like every RPG prior composed a proverbial Hiroshima, and this game was Big Boy. The ripples, cultural effects, and impact have been felt to this day. Square was the master. Nintendo ruled the Video Game industry, Sega all but folded on the 16-bit wars, and when you crawled out of your room after playing this game, all you could say for weeks on end were "ERAUQSSIDLROWEHT, ERAUQSSIDLROWEHT, ERAUQSSIDLROWEHT." And thats all I have to say about that.
Okay, i kinda agonized about whether to leave this in or stick with it. But I'm going with leaving it in. Remember when I said I wanted to cover the lesser moments of the year, or discuss games that were notable, not so much for their quality as other means... well this particular list was the only one I managed to get anywhere with that line of thought. All the others my notes were in rough, and well I got so busy with life I just could not get back to it in time for SNES week. So the following section is the only surviving member of it's kind that made it. I'm actually kind of fond of this section as it allows me (and hopefully you) to look back and laugh at some of the lesser and wackier moments of the gaming year... So I definitely want to come back and edit later on when I have time. so anyway, heres the section of what I would like to call...
The Weird, the Bad, and the Interesting.
First of all, lets talk licensed bombs. Wolverine: Adamantium Rage took comics most famous canuk, and set him loose in a pretty awful side scroller. I mean after some good genesis titles and this years SNES outing, I was really looking forward to this one. It was almost unlawfully bad.
Comics continued to suck with Spiderman/Venom: Maximum Carnage. Based on the comic series of the same name, but without any of the good stuff. It was a bland final fight clone with boring moves (this is frickin spiderman folks, it's not that damn hard to make him fun) and lame combat. And you may as well take Death and Return of Superman and say the same things on that as well. Its a shame when bad games happen to good comic stories.
And rounding out the list of comic book licensed crap, is The Tick. Yet another final fight clone that sucked hard, this time licensing the Tick. Look, people. I wept when the Ticks
ANIMATED (fuck you live action) show got shot down after three seasons. I've bitterly come to accept Season 3 of that
animated show will never see the light of day on DVD because my generation were a bunch of intellectually bankrupt fuckwads who don't know how to support what is awesome, and todays youth just wouldn't get the joke. The game is almost as much of a blight on an awesome show and comic as the 32-X was on proper gaming. The tick was awesome in the way it savagely parodied and commented on the comic book industry, and referenced animated programming of the past. Like, remember that episode of GI Joe where cobra commander assembles a high tech laser and writes his face on the moon and all of Cobra pulls a WTF? If you don't laugh your ass off when in the cartoon, Tick Villain Chairface Chippendale (voiced by the awesome and late Tony Jay) decides he's going to pull the same stunt, just writing his whole fucking name... then I'm sorry, you neither grew up with insane yet fun shows like this or know what is cool.
Okay, that rant aside. Lets talk TV shows and films. Back in the nineties there was a film franchise called Three Ninjas. It tried to blend the martial arts action of Ninja Turtles with juvenile storytelling and preschool sensibilities. Look, kids. Martial arts is about building self confidence, discipline, focus, and character. But there is also that whole "fucking peoples shit up" aspect that should not be downplayed or made juvenile. The films were in a special class of crap that only Jack Black and Owen Wilson could hope to match, and the game itself, based off the second film (yes, they made sequels. SEQUELS) is beyond forgettable, and is only here because of how much I desperately longed for a time traveling delorian to go back in time two hours and kick my past self in the nads for even thinking about watching this garbage. Sure, by doing so i'd breach at least three tenants of quantum/temporal physics which would result in the collapse of life as we all know it, and the alien civilizations would likely have built a monument in my honor by saving the galaxy from the release of TWO MORE FUCKING FILMS in this franchise!
That Said, the game was Three Ninjas: Kick Back. I think it's based on the second film. I know hell exists cuz only the CEO of that particular corporation would have been evil enough to make a game out of one of the most cloying movies I've ever seen.
Alright, lets now talk Star Trek. I like Star Trek, it's intelligent enough to present some controversial and thought provoking television, yet tounge in cheek enough to give us some episodes that are utter cheese, yet good cheese (anything that happens on the Planet Risa is proof of this) I disliked Voyager and loathed Enterprise, but still remain enough of a fan to have modest hopes for the newest film (note, saw it, was awesome). Yet I will now go on record to say that the PS1's space shooter Star Trek: Invasion is the closest thing to a great video game that Star Trek ever got. Everything else has been utter shite and that legacy of mediocrity is pretty much defined by the 16-bit titles released that year. Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Starfleet Academy both released in 1994 and while they both have the virtue of being worked on by some of the people from the show, neither of them is really much more than a somewhat bland and unsatisfying distraction. Neither of the games outright suck, but they just aren't really good either. Star Trek TNG is sorta fun sometimes as a gauntlet style platformer with trek style seasoning. And Starfleet Academy I found ho-hum save for the bit of fan service in the sense you can play through the infamous Kobiyashi Maru. They aren't really bad games, just not great and rarely even good.
But I Digress.
One of the games that I really haven't been able to bring myself to play, ever, released that year. Animaniacs. Now if you are old enough to remember the show, and are intelligent enough to have appreciated it, you know it was one of the best after school shows Warner Brothers EVER developed. The game however was marketed as a basic platformer... and I just couldn't bring myself to touch it. Animaniacs is a show that is so entrenched in dialogue, innuendo, slapstick and insanity that perhaps the only way this game could have worked is as a text adventure. Sadly the age of those games died soon before the SNES's time and only returned with the Advent of the DS. Shame.
Oh yah, you know I almost forgot two of the more unknown licensed titles to hit the SNES. Beavis and Butthead and Biker-Mice From Mars.
Beavis and Butthead was an animated show in the vein of Ren and Stimpy, which featured two metal listening rockin dudes with the combined IQ of a lobotomized Shitzu. The game itself is something of a game along the lines of kings quest, with the two dudes out to find Gwar tickets. There was no fookin way B&B was gonna work in the SNES with Nintendo still trying to pretend they gave a crap about family values, and the game just never should have tried. I hear the Genesis one is much better. And as for Biker-Mice from mars, never tried it and never will. It's just here because I loved the show and think that it was brilliant in how utterly fromage it managed to be.
And finally, last on the hit list of pop culture crap, we got Lion King. Y'know, perhaps calling Lion King crap is too harsh. The movie is my favorite Disney flick of all time, (It's all about Hakuna Matata babay) and the game... well it's more uneven than awful. The first half of the game involves little simba hopping and bopping his way through some redundant levels
and some of the more major scenes in the film like the stampede. The second
half is when Simba is all grown up, and he doesn't hop and bop, he's more into fucking yo shit up. He's a lion after all and will rip anything in his way to itty bitty pieces, smash it into rocks, and toss it off of a cliff. The second half is actually pretty fun, but you gotta get through the lame first half to enjoy it. Which is why I really can't call it a good game.
And now for the worst of the rest. I just can't bring myself to dedicate long paragraphs to these gaming turds, that are worth mentioning only to laugh at. Sort of like Michael Jordans Baseball career.
Rise of the Robots
I remember reading an article on this game about how many bajillions worth of dollars the guys who made this game were throwing at it. working for months using (at the time) revolutionary graphical processing techniques and algorithms to make this game graphically unique and groundbreaking in feel. It's too bad they forgot to spend so much as a plugged nickel on gameplay, and the game itself is worse than the Game Boys attempt at street fighter.
Shaq Fu
Shaquile Oneil in a fight to the death against a revivified mummy and his minions. If he loses, the world is fucked. If he wins, he makes it to the big game on time. It's so crazy and asstacular, it's almost brilliant. The juvenile in-game smack talk and the lame combat engine however... were not.
Bubsy II
Utter shite. Just play it and see, i can't believe this fucking franchise was a hit for a time.
all right, lets dive right in. Now, I've already stated multiple times that while 99% of licensed games these days are utter crap, back in the 16-bit era good licensed games were actually something of a norm. Leading off the representation of the cream of the SNES's fourth year of licensed products are the Adventures of Batman and Robin. Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the show, to me this was one of the most awesome animated series ever. Prior to the Batman animated series no animated series had ever been nominated or even dreamed of winning an emmy. This show changed all that. Stylized animation (drawn on black print to depict a darker and grim feel) excellent voice talent, mature story lines (has Mr Freeze EVER been cooler than he has in this show?) and sharp writing (to this day, the line "I threw a rock at em" is something of an in-joke between my longtime friends and I) helped distinguish this show from the rest of the superhero nonsense. The game itself was a well designed platformer meant to reference and play through various episodes in the series. Graphically and audibly it was outstanding as it tried to come as close as possible to emulating the look and feel of the show. Game play was varied and making levels flow as per the scripts of the episodes they were taken from was a great idea. It has a few flaws such as in Poison Ivy's level Batman doesn't punch Poison Ivy or her female gang just tosses batarangs at them, but otherwise it was an awesome game and miles ahead of the Genesis offering, which is sad since the Genny even went with that whole digicel thing for it's batman
game, thats where programmers take actual animation cels and work them into the graphics. Shame the designers made the gameplay so utterly awful. 
The quality licensed games still kept coming. Mickey Mouse got represented two times that year. The First was The Magical Quest: Starring Mickey Mouse which was a platformer that gave mickey a bit of a super Mario thing by giving him different outfits (and thus different power ups to use). The other big title that year to celebrate the micks fiftieth birthday, was the all around sound platformer Mickey Mania, which was noteworthy for having digicel animation taken straight from the various MM designs over the years. It was a fun game at the time, these days I think it would get knocked, as would most of the good platformers back then, for being way too kiddy.
dinos and recover any and all DNA samples. It was silly stuff, but it was a helluva lot of fun. Not
as fun as playing as the raptor mind you, but still good times. 
Well I'm done with the licensed stuff, but now before we go on I need to hash out some sour grapes and get this out of my system. The third Street Fighter II game for the snes, subtitled "The New Challengers" hit and was once again a big success. If capcom even needed to advertise this game the honest route would have been to go with an ad that went along the lines of "Hey kids, you know that version of Street Fighter II: Championship edition you've been playing the fuck out of for the past year, well toss that crap in the garbage and go annoy Mom and Dad into buying you the NEW Street Fighter II title. New moves = new combos and the addition of four new characters means your too stupid to figure out you've been playing the same damn game for years and paying full price for minor expansions. And just for the sake of novelty, we threw in four new half baked characters. There's a new chick and while the design team forgot to make her hot you probably won't care since you've been pulling off Chun Li's Spin Kick for years just for a little panty action you perv. There's a Jamaican dude cuz our demographics team said we needed a black guy thats more American and relateable to todays youth. There's also a Bruce Lee clone, just in time to cash in on the beyond fucking exaggerated pseudo biopic film "Dragon." And then there's T-hawk. He's there to fill a quota. So kids, go get your parents wallet (we all know they'd have said yes anyway) and grab a good $80.00 and go to your local game store and pick up Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers today. Because your life just isn't complete without a yearly and lazy expansion. 
And the games did not stop, you want shooters? Hows about R-Type III huh? Yah, there's your shooting action. RPGs? Breath of Fire and a little known quality title called Illusion of Gaia both hit that year. Action/Platformers? Rocky & Pocky II is a terrific title that I'm sad to say I've played very little of, but enjoyed it quite a bit for the short time I've been able to afford to the title. Earthworm Jim began what seemed to be a meteoric rise to fame with his first game, and I think I've said all I really had to say back on that top ten worst games list. This franchise deserved so much better, and it's a damn shame to go back and play EJ and lament how one terrible game can go all patriot missile on a brilliantly shooting star. That said, Vortex hit and was a pseudo follow up to Starfox, powered by more megs, the SFX trip, and you piloting a transforming Mecha. And Nintendo proved that it has the concept of compilation titles down, with the release of Tetris & Dr Mario on a single cart. Like Super Mario All Stars it had updated graphics, and traditional game play. Ya gotta love them for that. 
Oh, I'm not done by a long shot. Blackthrone came out and was a surprise hit from Blizzard. It took the prince of persia game play model, took a fantasy esque setting and put you in charge of a disposed prince fighting demonic monsters that killed your family, enslaved your world, and stole your throne. After 10 years of marine training, you're magically beamed back home and are ready to kick ass. A couple things set this apart from the pack. You can dodge enemy fire by pushing up and hiding in the background, which was very unique. You got an interesting arsenal of weapons to use which was fun, and then there was the nigh legendary no look behind the back shot. Which really was put in there just to look cool as it's damn near useless on most boss fights since it takes time to pull off. Oh yah, and in the first few levels where your walking through the mines and meeting your imprisoned people, you can shoot them. Yep, it's a guilty pleasure but still amusing to take a bomb from a chained ally and do the behind the back shot while leaving the room as a parting insult. Blackthrone is a unique and all around fun game that you should definitely give it a try. 
Okay, now lets talk 8-bit for a minute. There was something of a sleeper hit series on the NES and Game Boy called Gargoyles Quest. It was an action/RPG series that while not being well known, still had a niche audience and was most famous for starring that Gargoyle from Ghouls & Ghosts that would mess you up on the first level. Well, Firebrand returned for a third outing on the SNES which was really cool. From a humble yet cool start on the color blind system that could, to a grand yet ignored follow up during the NES's twilight, to a excellent release on the SNES in the form of Demons Crest, firebrand was slowly rising to fame and fortune. And damn if the game itself wasn't awesome. It was a bit of Mega Man X as Firebrand kept getting new abilities from the bosses, but still had that Gargoyles Quest feel. And despite a dark, Gholish, and awesome good time... he's not been seen since. Swallowed up by the dark flames of time and consequence. Maybe it's for the best that the red one stay forgotten rather than get massacred by a poorly thought out 3D update catering on nostalgic feelings rather than presenting the quality game play the series was noted for. 
And before I get to the meat of this article, I want to mention a special, yet little known title that released this year. Super Bonk. Y'see, Bonk was the face man for the failed Turbographics CD system. It was something of a 12-bit system (technically 8-bt specs, but with a few bells and whistles thrown in to up the presentation. Much like how the Nintendo DS is technically less powerful than the SNES and Genesis, yet manages to pull off better FX) that thought itself to be the Genesis's main competition in the days before the SNES hit the market 1 1/2 years after the Genesis. Bonks games were probably the most enjoyable ones for the failed Turboduo, and IMO, was a far better game than Super Mario World. Bonk later did some touring on the Game Boy once the TG got deep sixed by the genny, and somehow managed to get the SNES to let him show up. The result is one of the most varied and amusing platformers ever conceived. 
"Irish, are you fucking kidding me? The Game is alright but not a legend." Sure, I'll grant you that while fun, Donkey Kong Country is no great shakes as a stand alone platformer. But at the time, with Sega pushing forward towards the Saturn and Sony bailing on their partnership to develop what would become the Playstation, this game rocked worlds. 3D and CGI generated polygons was the future, we were all waiting for it. Toy Story itself is a legend not because it's a great move (fun, yes I'll grant you but seriously overhyped) but because it was the worlds first fully CGI animated film and back then, the animation rocked peoples worlds in much the same way the first Jurassic Park movie did. Donkey Kong Country became a legend for being the first game that featured pre-rendered graphics and CGI developed characters. The game was a fucking graphical powerhouse at the time. Cranky Kong, with his rants on the new-fangled graphics was basically Rare and nintendo patting themselves on the back. People bought this game by the truckload and gasped in awe pondering how Nintendo pulled this shit off. Sure, okay Sega had Vectorman, but that only had the same effects on the main character and bosses. DKC had it everywhere. Graphically this was the FFVII of its day, and utterly redefined the idea of what gamers expect from elite presentation values. As a game, it's fun and amusing and way too much on the easy side and borrowed too much from the hop'n'bop vernacular that made mario a star. It's really just a tech demo, but at the time people just ate it up. 
It's 1994, and we are sad to say that Mega Man has jumped the shark. 
Being a victim of MS syndrome (thats Master System owner) I never got a chance to really play Mike Tysons Punch-Out on the ol NES. I got up to fucking up King Hippo on my cousins NES. So Super Punch-Out was the really my first in depth taste of the franchise, and it was awesome. It kept most of the simplicity of what I remembered from the NES game, but added a bit of variety with the improved Super Meter. Everything else was a mix of strategic planning that evolved over the game time. The first two Leagues were just tests to see how quickly you could knock these fuckers out. The third was there to start to get you to think and evaluate your opponents patterns, experiment and find weaknesses. And the final league was the ultimate challenge in reflexes and gaming skill. The gameplay was great, but the graphics really added a goofy and fun air to the game, as each contender was filled with silly animations, facial expressions, and way out there attacks. Sound added to the feel, and didn't get in the way. I think of Super Punch-Out as one of the greatest sports games ever, and wish more developers would try to infuse their sports titles with the simplicity and wacky charm that Super Punch-Out managed as it's absolutely
timeless and a wonderful title. 
When this game hit, it was like every RPG prior composed a proverbial Hiroshima, and this game was Big Boy. The ripples, cultural effects, and impact have been felt to this day. Square was the master. Nintendo ruled the Video Game industry, Sega all but folded on the 16-bit wars, and when you crawled out of your room after playing this game, all you could say for weeks on end were "ERAUQSSIDLROWEHT, ERAUQSSIDLROWEHT, ERAUQSSIDLROWEHT." And thats all I have to say about that.
First of all, lets talk licensed bombs. Wolverine: Adamantium Rage took comics most famous canuk, and set him loose in a pretty awful side scroller. I mean after some good genesis titles and this years SNES outing, I was really looking forward to this one. It was almost unlawfully bad. 
ANIMATED (fuck you live action) show got shot down after three seasons. I've bitterly come to accept Season 3 of that
animated show will never see the light of day on DVD because my generation were a bunch of intellectually bankrupt fuckwads who don't know how to support what is awesome, and todays youth just wouldn't get the joke. The game is almost as much of a blight on an awesome show and comic as the 32-X was on proper gaming. The tick was awesome in the way it savagely parodied and commented on the comic book industry, and referenced animated programming of the past. Like, remember that episode of GI Joe where cobra commander assembles a high tech laser and writes his face on the moon and all of Cobra pulls a WTF? If you don't laugh your ass off when in the cartoon, Tick Villain Chairface Chippendale (voiced by the awesome and late Tony Jay) decides he's going to pull the same stunt, just writing his whole fucking name... then I'm sorry, you neither grew up with insane yet fun shows like this or know what is cool. 
Okay, that rant aside. Lets talk TV shows and films. Back in the nineties there was a film franchise called Three Ninjas. It tried to blend the martial arts action of Ninja Turtles with juvenile storytelling and preschool sensibilities. Look, kids. Martial arts is about building self confidence, discipline, focus, and character. But there is also that whole "fucking peoples shit up" aspect that should not be downplayed or made juvenile. The films were in a special class of crap that only Jack Black and Owen Wilson could hope to match, and the game itself, based off the second film (yes, they made sequels. SEQUELS) is beyond forgettable, and is only here because of how much I desperately longed for a time traveling delorian to go back in time two hours and kick my past self in the nads for even thinking about watching this garbage. Sure, by doing so i'd breach at least three tenants of quantum/temporal physics which would result in the collapse of life as we all know it, and the alien civilizations would likely have built a monument in my honor by saving the galaxy from the release of TWO MORE FUCKING FILMS in this franchise!
Alright, lets now talk Star Trek. I like Star Trek, it's intelligent enough to present some controversial and thought provoking television, yet tounge in cheek enough to give us some episodes that are utter cheese, yet good cheese (anything that happens on the Planet Risa is proof of this) I disliked Voyager and loathed Enterprise, but still remain enough of a fan to have modest hopes for the newest film (note, saw it, was awesome). Yet I will now go on record to say that the PS1's space shooter Star Trek: Invasion is the closest thing to a great video game that Star Trek ever got. Everything else has been utter shite and that legacy of mediocrity is pretty much defined by the 16-bit titles released that year. Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Starfleet Academy both released in 1994 and while they both have the virtue of being worked on by some of the people from the show, neither of them is really much more than a somewhat bland and unsatisfying distraction. Neither of the games outright suck, but they just aren't really good either. Star Trek TNG is sorta fun sometimes as a gauntlet style platformer with trek style seasoning. And Starfleet Academy I found ho-hum save for the bit of fan service in the sense you can play through the infamous Kobiyashi Maru. They aren't really bad games, just not great and rarely even good. 
But I Digress.
Beavis and Butthead was an animated show in the vein of Ren and Stimpy, which featured two metal listening rockin dudes with the combined IQ of a lobotomized Shitzu. The game itself is something of a game along the lines of kings quest, with the two dudes out to find Gwar tickets. There was no fookin way B&B was gonna work in the SNES with Nintendo still trying to pretend they gave a crap about family values, and the game just never should have tried. I hear the Genesis one is much better. And as for Biker-Mice from mars, never tried it and never will. It's just here because I loved the show and think that it was brilliant in how utterly fromage it managed to be. 
and some of the more major scenes in the film like the stampede. The second
half is when Simba is all grown up, and he doesn't hop and bop, he's more into fucking yo shit up. He's a lion after all and will rip anything in his way to itty bitty pieces, smash it into rocks, and toss it off of a cliff. The second half is actually pretty fun, but you gotta get through the lame first half to enjoy it. Which is why I really can't call it a good game. 
Rise of the Robots
Shaq Fu
Bubsy II