Polly's Top 25 Games of All Time
by Polly

Yes, yes, I know. MORTAL KOMBAT ISN'T A REAL FIGHTING GAME! MORTAL KOMBAT ISN'T A REAL FIGHTING GAME! MORTAL KOMBAT ISN'T A REAL FIGHTING GAME! MORTAL KOMBAT ISN'T A REAL FIGHTING GAME! MORTAL KOMBAT ISN'T A REAL FIGHTING GAME! I've heard it enough over the years that I think I get the point, you stuck up elitist cock guzzlers. I enjoy both Street Fighter and Guilty Gear, but sometimes I just want to turn my brain off and not have to think too much about the ridiculous science and crazy button combos that has become 2D fighters. I've always been more of a quick-fix action gamer anyway, so it should be no surprise that I like something as braindead as Mortal Kombat.

Yes, it's about the blood. Yes, it's about the over the top ridiculous moves and shitty AI. Yes, it's about the awful and cheesy digitized characters. It's about having fun and not thinking. I can get behind an idea like that, which is why I did when the original Mortal Kombat hit arcades.

Mortal Kombat wasn't specifically all that great. It was clearly testing the waters of what could be done technologically and how far they could push the envelope with the violence. Mortal Kombat II felt more like a game. Everything came together and though it lacked the depth of Street Fighter, it still had its own merits and no shortage of fast and intense matches at the arcade. I was lucky enough to be part of that crowd that bunched around the local MKII machine on weekends wasting well over $10 in quarters and utterly humiliating anyone that dared step up to the sticks to face me. I was one of the best. I'll never forget the rage of the few who lost to me and had to insult me simply because they lost to a female. Ahhh, the good ol days.

With the release of the original MK on home systems came a crazy amount of censorship on Nintendo's behalf. Not only that, but their version of the original played like fucking molasses. It looked and sounded the part, but in the end wasn't worth it at all.

With MKII, Nintendo allowed Acclaim to keep all the violece from the arcade intact. When I heard the news, I became more excited for the release of a videogame than I'd ever been previously. On September 9th, 1994, at around 9:30am, I faked sick to go home from school, becuase I knew that was the game's release date and that my parents were getting it for me for my birthday. Lo and behold, as I opened the front door, the little UPS box plopped out onto the porch, but was quickly snatched by my dad who took it with him back to work.

Thankfully, he returned on his lunch break and decided to give it to me anyway. The rest of that day is a blur.

MKII for SNES is basically the PINNACLE release of the game outside of the arcade. The game looked, sounded, and most importantly played exactly like the arcade version. There was literally nothing to be unhappy about...Unless you got the Genesis version. HAHAHAHAHAHA!



Everybody else in the entire world has already said it.



Nothing against the original Sega CD version of the game. Nothing at all. It's one of the more overlooked gems of its generation. I chose the PSX version because I feel it's simply the better version. Which is pretty much a "No SHIT, SHERLOCK" observation, but I had more fun with this one.

I remember the days when you didn't need an amnesiac main hero with a checkered past who was a clone and tons of pretty boys in leather and buckles to make an RPG that'd appeal to people. Those were good days indeed. When all you needed to do was stop the evil overlord from destroying or taking over the world and save the girl. LUNAR's story is just as simple as that, and it's not any worse off for being that simple.

Admittedly, what makes the LUNAR releases stateside so memorable has a whole shit ton to do with the now sadly defunct Working Designs' localizations. I'm not entirely too sure on how accurate to the source material they may have been, but they were god damn entertaining. It's one of the only RPGs where I literally had to talk to EVERYBODY in EVERY town after EVERY major event, because the characters' witty exchanges were so lively and comical. Even when things were at the gloomiest, there was always a little glimmer of comical relief to help liven things up a bit.

So while the story may be more simple than the over-bloated and often nonsenical stories we get today, it takes a tried and true formula and does everything absolutely perfect. Good luck finding a copy, though. The box and all the goodies that came with both the first game and Eternal Blue Complete help jack the price up quite a bit even used.



The greatest Dreamcast RPG? Fuckin Grandia II of course. Many would argue that Sega's Skies of Arcadia tops it, and while Skies is in no way a slouch, it just lacks the charm and fast-paced combat that makes Grandia II a winner.

I'll give Skies of Arcadia the points for story, but what won me over with Grandia II was the charm. Much like the LUNAR series, Grandia II's story isn't gonna impress most people. It's flat out predictable at almost any given plot point. But once again, a story that could have made for a boring game entirely, ends up saved by a strong and fun cast of characters.

Oh, and the battle system. GOOD GOD the battle system. There's absolutely nothing to hate about it. It's simple, fast, and most of all, FUN! Even grinding out a few levels before the next area wasn't a chore.

It only took me a little under a week to run through this game. Not because it's short, but I honest to god couldn't put it down. After work, there was only me, my Dreamcast, and a 4-7 hour Grandia II session. Why can't RPGs be FUN like this one anymore?



What can I say? This is THE Zelda title for me. It's the, "If We'd Done Anything Else More Right We'd Have Started Going Left" game of the series. I don't even know if that makes sense, and I don't even fucking care. You can't expect everything to make complete sense at this point. So yeah!

My first impression of this game was one I honestly still can't figure out. Shortly into the opening moments of the game, you step outside into the main field for the first time. And when you do, it's thundering, lightening, and raining. For some reason, this was a true sight to behold to my young eyeballs. As I said, I'm not exactly sure why, but that moment has stayed with me and remained one of the most memorable moments of the game ever since I first touched it. I ran around playing in the rain for probably 10 minutes or so before finally heading into the castle.

Obviously it's not the 16-bit weather effects that make Zelda III so damn good, it's fuckin' everything else. This game was HUUUUUUUUGE! There was so much to do and so many things to see that you could easily get wrapped up into playing it maybe longer than say, a JRPG might take you today. And JUST when you thought you were maybe making some headway and pretty far into the game, they throw the whole Dark World curveball. It's a gimmick Nintendo just can't seem to let go of these days, but this is probably where it was done the best. Usin' yer noggin to figure out how to solve complex overworld puzzles while bouncing between both the Light and Dark Worlds was awesome as hell and in the end you felt like some hot shit when you figured it out all by yourself.

In a word, the game's fucking EPIC. It feels like what Zelda was meant to be from the very beginning, but the little grey box just hadn't had its potential tapped to that point when the first game was released. If you had an SNES, you probably should have had this game or you were one very deprived and sad individual, and I honestly do feel sorry for you.