Polly's Top 25 Games of All Time
by Polly

Had Phantasy Star Online not entered my life, I think it's safe to assume that I woudln't be talking to any of you now. Why? Because I wasn't so gung-ho about the internet back in late 2000/early 2001'ish. I did like working on computers and helping people build them, but the internet just hadn't struck much of a cord with me yet. I was still more into having a life on the "outside," going out with friends and being a musician. Of course, videogames were also still very much a part of the everyday equation.

The Phantasy Star series always had a little bit of an advantage over most console RPGs I played due to its sci-fi theme. Those settings just appeal to me more than typical swords and sorcery scenarios. If I'm gonna do a quick series recap, it goes like this: Play everything except Phantasy Star III. It's a boring mess. Phantasy Star and Phantasy Star II might be a bit too primitive for people these days as their battle systems haven't aged well and are clunky as hell. Phantasy Star IV is nothing short of epic motherfucking win. Too much awesome for one little Genny cart.

Back on track, then. Phantasy Star Online isn't necessarily a great game by itself. It's a very simple hack and slasher that you can play both online and offline. It's simple enough to pick up and play, and doesn't go much deeper. The simplicity is what turns this game into a FUCKING DRUG. It's not slow and clunky like MMOs, the areas and missions are fairly straightforward "beat up these guys to go to another area to beat up more guys," and grinding out levels doesn't necessarily feel like that much of a grind. The fact that you can log on and do a Forest and Mines run or something and finish in about 45 minutes feeling like you've actually accomplished something is the main draw. It just keeps drawing you back in for more. Even though Version 2 would come along and fuck up this formula horribly about 6 months later, the GameCube version redeemed everything they'd done wrong and went on to become the definitive PSO.

So even though the game was fun, the grind to 100 (or 200 once I imported version 2) wouldn't have been at all possible without the help of other people I met online. LOOOOONG after the game had become a boring grind and that whole "accomplishing things" feeling went away, the only thing that kept myself and many others that I hung out with around was the online atmosphere. PSO had one of the best game communities EVER. I've never seen anything like it. Yes, there were still the random asshat [REDACTED]s who usually just stuck around the first ship/first block. For the most part, everyone else was cool in one way or another.

PSO did a lot for gaming in showing just how well an online console RPG could work. Its legacy in North America and Europe will sadly come to a close on March 31st, 2008 with the offical closing of the Phantasy Star Online: Blue Burst servers. You had a hell of a run, PSO. Good times and bad, we stuck it out! Me and you! It's time for you to go to sleep. You deserve it.

The spiritual sequel or whatever you wanna call it, Phantasy Star Universe, ended up being more of a disappointment than most had anticipated. Though it looks to be redeeming itself with the upcoming expansion, it's doubtful that it'll ever capture that feeling PSO had. And the internet's gotten exponentially dumber in seven years so finding decent people that play that game is like trying to find the "not gay" on decoy.



How to waste a fuckton of quarters:

1. Find a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade cabinet.
2. Insert 1 quarter.
3. Approximately 1:16 later, you're dead.
4. Insert another quarter.
5. Repeat for 1 hour.

I'm not saying TMNT is cheap... Haha, see what I did there? Fuck, I'm awesome.

AAAAAAnnnyway, a pizza joint near where I lived a while back had a TMNT arcade cabinet back in around '93-94 and a few friends and I spent way more time there playing it than we should have. I mean, I already had the NES version that we could have easily gone back to my place and played for free, but we were idiots who felt like throwing what little money we had away on quarters for an arcade game that was tuned to the highest difficulty. I actually think the owner of the place realized that we came in there so much only to play his stupid machine (because the pizza was just one big fat grease ball + some dough and meat) and cranked up the difficulty on purpose just to spite us. What he didn't know was that my uncle was the guy who collected the coinage from that machine each week, and anytime myself and my friends were in there and he dropped by to collect, he'd always give us 20-30 free credits.

Oh, and the game? Yeah, it's kinda hard and cheap, but it's a fucking blast with 3 other people playing at the same time.



Quite possibly the biggest fucking game release ever. Super Mario Bros. 3 turned the entire gaming world on its ear almost over night. Nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING, came close to the mania that this game created. If you were a Nintendo Kid in the 80s/early 90s, there's no way you didn't see THE commercial. You know what one I'm talking about. Yes, THIS COMMERCIAL. (I take no responsibility if the youtube link is dead.) It was my first exposure, and likely the entire gaming indstury's first exposure, to something I think we're all absolutely sick of now - Fucking HYPE MACHINE.

But Super Mario Bros. 3 lived up to the hype. It was truly the biggest Mario game ever. Stages upon stages upon stages upon stages ALL of which were unique, challenging, and fun to play through. If you were a Mario fan, and let's be honest what Nintendo fan back then wasn't, there was absolutely NOTHING at all to hate about this game. Other than maybe GOD DAMN PIPE LAND FUCLAJ:KLFAJ:*R88r8r8r88 I HATED YOU SO MUCH......

At this point it's really hard to say anything about SMB3 that hasn't been said by countless other people over the years. It's kinda THE "household" game that everyone I know had, along with Tetris. And people STILL play it to this day. I can't help but bust out the ol NES and SMB3 at least 2-3 times a year and run through it just for the memories.



Best. Castlevania. Ever. Why? Just because it is! I covered this one extensively in my NES Week Konami Capsule Reviews piece. It's hard for me to say anything else about it that I didn't already say there. It's just a fuckin great game. I can't find much fault with it other than our version having slightly inferior graphics and a wimpier sounding soundtrack. But even then, those points can't really take away how fun this game is.












The one and only reason I bought a Nintendo 64. The single greatest game on the Nintendo 64. I get a lot of shit for saying that, because HOW DARE SOMEONE NOT CONSIDER SUPER MARIO 64 THE GREATEST 3D PLATFORMER EVER, but whatever. Fuck you. After about 40-50 star challenges, I got bored. Sue me. And the camera got on my nerves.

It all started a little before the summer of 1997. One day after school, I arrived home to find an odd little box from Nintendo chillin out in the mailbox. Turns out it was a short 10 minute video promotion for a new game that was coming out soon. That game, of course, was StarFox 64. That promotional video, probably the most awesome piece of advertising EVER.

And just because I don't wanna leave anybody out, you can check the whole thing out here.

Yep! That's the propaganda that got me to invest in an N64 with funds I'd earned from my summer job. That was also the same summer that I saved up money to buy ANOTHER console for one game - A PSX and pre-order for Final Fantasy VII. But that has nothing to do with how awesome StarFox 64 is.

The original StarFox on SNES is by no means a slouch when compared to this game. It was a technical marvel for its time and pretty damn fun to boot. StarFox 64 takes everything that was done right with that game and expands upon it (bringing a few ideas in from the never released StarFox 2 as well) creating one of the more satisfying rail shooters in history. StarFox 64 felt cinematic and epic without sacrificing any element of gameplay.

The game hosts many unique challenges and the path you take through the game is determined by your decisions and performance in prior stages. No two stages are the same and clearly a lot of work went into creating the environments and the unique challenges that each stage has, be it the background designs, enemy patterns or the challenging but fair boss encounters. There's also the scoring system which, just like Ikaruga, sucked me in and made me collect every damn medal for every damn stage.

The bottom line is that StarFox 64 is one of the best damn rail shooters ever. It's just a god damn dirty shame what Nintendo has done to this series since StarFox 64's release. A Shitty Zelda clone, a half-assed attempt at a 3rd person action game, and a half-baked attempt at a real-time strategy/flight sim hybrid. And Krystal...fucking waste of a god damned Arwing furry fodder fucking bullshit!

But hey, at least you can download StarFox 64 on the Virtual Console and forget all about those other shitty pixelated abortions.